Walden In the City; Montreal

I sleep about nine hours a day now. Nothing keeps me awake, nothing wakes me up. I can’t remember my dreams in the morning. I do most of it awake. I haven’t spaced out this much since I was a little boy. It’s exactly what I was looking for, exactly what I expected. I’m sure when I told my friends and family that I was leaving my distracted life in quicksand LA to go relax and rehabilitate myself in New York City, most must have thought I was lying or being stupid. I’m not sure I even believed it at the time. Regardless, I am happy and healthy in solitude for now.

I'm excited to be taking a train to Montreal from the 17th - 21st, where my Mom’s friend’s family lives. Although, the trip has been tainted by my knowledge that a little lady I once knew will be there too. Tainted might sound bitter, but only because under different circumstances, it could have been something great. If only life could be filled with simple, sensical good times, without the baggage and social guidebook. Instead, it’ll be an awful joke on me. I must laugh along however, because what else is there to do? One must remember that life has a laugh track that plays out of sync with the intended jokes, and you have to find humor in that. Worst of all however, is the fact that I impulsively informed her of this joke upon my awareness of the situation. I'm sure she didn't find the humor in it either. I can't recall another person that has caused me to be this irrational and idiotic, but I can't help but still bask in awe of what has happened to me since our encounter. It's something out of a Tolstoy novel. We do not choose these things, and so therefore, I do not regret them. Things have a way of deciding themselves.

I hope it's colder than fuck.